Lift Me Up

Music has always seemed to have a big impact on my life. I always seem to find a song that perfectly fits my life for all different things. Today however, this song came on . . . and woa . . . the tears flowed! It couldn't have explained the way I've been feeling for the past month any better.

Nights are THE WORST time for me. My days are so busy that when everyone is asleep I am left alone with my thoughts. I can be thinking of anything and my thoughts will quickly turn back to the last few times I was with Charish. I can remember those moments like they were yesterday . . . from the way she smelled {she always smelled so good . . . every time I smell Victorias Secret's Berry Kiss I think of her} to the way she did her make up that day . . . I replay what I said to her, and the look on the nurses face's that first night . . . I remember the sobs coming from my sweet girls when we told them the horrible news . . . everything is SO vivid. 

So this song is my song . . . for now. I'm hoping that the happier songs will come and that I will smile when I hear them . . . but for now, this is how I feel. Not a good place to be, but I'm having a hard time digging my way out of these crappy trenches. So in the mean time, while I'm searching for the peace I need . . . this explains me.

Lift Me Up {Christina Aguilera}

So the pain begins

as the music fades

and I'm left here 

with more than I can take

If you lift me up

just get me through this night

I know I'll rest tomorrow

and I'll be strong enough to try

When the sky clears

and all is said and done

I will realize

that we all need someone

If you lift me up

just get me through this night

I know I'll rest tomorrow

and I'll be strong enough to try

So when you see me crashing

and there's nowhere left to fall

will you lift me even higher

to rise above this all

If you lift me up

just get me through this night

I know I'll rest tomorrow

and I'll be strong enough to try

. . .