Day of {Dancing}

{Thursday} April 22, 2010

This afternoon the girls got all decked out in their dancing outfits and we danced around the living room . . . for HOURS. It was so fun and so cute to see Charlise having a blast. Reha was sitting on the ground stretching her legs and Charly copied her . . . so cute.

Unstoppable

{Sunday} April 18, 2010

I'm a sobbing, snotty mess tonight! I have been doing so good . . . of course I've had my ups and downs, but really . . . the flood gates have opened! And it's all because I'm watching the stupid country music awards.

First song that got me was from Toby Keith {can I just tell you how much I can't stand this dudes music}. He wrote a song for a friend who died from cancer . . . the words got me, of course . . . especially the, "I got up and dialed your number, and your voice came on the line with that old familiar message I heard a thousand times. It just said, sorry that I missed you. Leave a message and God bless. I know that you think I'm crazy but I just had to hear your voice I guess. I'm gonna miss that smile, I'm gonna miss you my friend. Even though it hurts the way it ended up, I'd do it all again . . ." Seriously, I called Charish's phone a LOT after she died just to hear her voice . . . and I had a message that she sent me that I would listen to what felt like a hundred times during the night, but accidentally erased it one day . . . cried as hard as the day she died. {Called her phone again tonight and some guy answered . . . guess it's not her number any more . . . sad . . . but duh. But I still can't bring myself to delete her name off of my phone.}

Then Rascal Flatts came on and sang "Unstoppable". I've heard this song on the radio a few times but never really listened to the words, and while all the words don't fit my situation, most of them hit me hard . . . I all of the sudden love this song. And again, cried like a baby in time out. "When the cold hard rain just wont quit, and you can't see your way out of it . . . You find your faith has been lost and shaken, you take back what's been taken. Get on your knees and dig down deep, you can do what you think is impossible. Keep on believing, don't give in. It'll come and make you whole again. It always will, it always does. Love is unstoppable." {so so true} . . .

THEN stinking Carrie Underwood got on the stage and sang "Temporary Home" and of course the last verse got me, "An old man, hospital bed. The room is filled with people he loves. And he whispers, don't cry for me I'll see you all some day. He looks up and says, I can see God's face. This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong. Windows and rooms, that I'm passing through. This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know, this was my temporary home." {sigh}

Man I miss that girl . . . and I think I've cried enough to last me a good few weeks . . . we'll see.

Girls

{Sunday} April 18, 2010

My girls are ALL girl. They definitely have a love for their jewelry.

Love

{Saturday} April 17, 2010

I've really been out of it for the past week and a half! I've had a "bad" computer charger, so my laptop hasn't been working . . . I FINALLY have it back, so I'm glad to be back in the swing of things.

We are just a day away from spring break being over. These past three weeks have been . . . interesting . . . but it's been so SO so great to have the girls home. I really love that we could just enjoy each day without having to deal with school & homework. I'm sad that they're going back on Monday. We were able to spend time with my mom & Bruce the past couple of days. It was nice to spend time with my mom and to see that she's doing better. She's been so sick lately that it was starting to really worry me. She's not great, but to see an improvement was really nice. On our way home yesterday we drove the long way home and visited Paul & Becky's family. Wade came and got the girls so Becky & I could go out to dinner. It was really great to spend time with her one on one. I really love that girl . . . SO grateful I have her in my life. I've been really sad that Charish is gone and that I wont have that "sister" time that is so priceless and unique, but it's nice that I still have sister's in-law who love me. What a major blessing they have been.

There are a few things I've been thinking about lately; the biggest thing . . . I have GOT to stop focusing on all of the negative things in my life. Whether the negativity is coming from something going on in MY life or the life of someone I'm close to . . . I HAVE to stop focusing on the crap and how it's somehow negatively affecting me, and start dealing with the good {because in EVERYTHING, no matter how difficult the challenge, there is always something good that can come from it . . . even if it's just the fact that you've learned something to better your life} The past eight months have been a crazy tornado of total crap, most of which I had no control over and has, in it's own way, had a part in tearing me down {Charish dying was the straw that broke this chicks back}, and until I came to the realization that I can't continue to be depressed about how sucky life has been for me . . . I really thought I would feel dark & empty for the rest of my life. I'm so grateful that this positive thinking has changed my life. I'm happier and feel like I'm finding the good in things that I never thought I would see anything but pain in.

In short . . . everything positive in life comes from love . . . and man I'm feelin' it.

Kickin' fear to the {rear}.

{Saturday} April 10, 2010

Today was Wyatt's baptism. He is such a good kid. It was so great to be there for his special day. Before we left I took the girls outside and took some pictures in their Easter clothes. Since last week was conference they didn't get dressed up on Easter. This one turned out so cute . . . my favorite. Charlise is saying, "cheeeese" . . . that's why her mouth is silly. She's such a crack up . . . SO love her!

We went back to his house afterwards to have dinner and hang out. Their dog, Roxy, had 8 surprise puppies a few weeks ago, so the kids were all playing with them. If you know anything about Reha, you know that she is terrified of dogs! Petrified is probably a better word. The chick has a severe phobia . . . always has and nothing ever happened to make her feel that way. It's been a challenge for us because it's caused us to miss out on certain things because of a dog being there.

Well . . . NEWS FLASH folks . . . Reha went outside where there were TWO big dogs running around!!! What!?

And not only that . . . SHE . . . HELD . . . ONE! I know, doesn't seem that big, but to her that is STINKING huge! So proud of you, Reha, for being willing to start to overcome your biggest fear. {I love how proud Wyatt is of you in this picture}

Thanks, Uncle Paul, for taking a picture for us!!

{Wednesday} April 7, 2010

I took Chloe to get her hair cut today. She did NOT like it at ALL . . . she cried the whole time. Kind of sad, but she really needed to get it cut. It was really long and knotted really easy, so we went really short. It turned out SO cute and she ended up being okay with it after a while.

Jenn came down with a really bad cold that turned into pneumonia, so she was admitted to the hospital. Since she had the boys, her cousin dropped them off at my house and Jason picked them up after 7, so it was a long time stuck in our little house, but they had a good time playing again. Jake & Hannah play great, Josh & Reha play great, and Charlise & Chloe play AWEFUL together. They fight ALL the time . . . I feel like a referee when they're together. I'm sad that they don't get along better . . . hopefully someday they'll play nice.

{Tuesday} April 6, 2010

Reha's 6th birthday party was today. She wanted a "fancy" party where everyone dressed up and we did "girly" things. So, I pulled out all the stops and went fancy for her.

Started with some decorations . . .

Added some fancy friends . . . ate fancy food with frilly toothpicks {because everyone knows that food tastes better when it has frilly toothpicks stuck in it} . . . and had some good, girly fun.

The happy birthday girl.

Chatting with Emma.

Made some bracelets . . .

. . . painted some fancy nails {no picture} . . . opened some presents . . .

I swear every one of our birthday's include duplicate gifts . . . so funny!

Planted some seeds . . .

. . . decorated some cupcakes . . .

. . . of course sang happy birthday . . .

. . . made our own goody bags {mom's, you can thank me later}

. . . and watched the beginning of Princess and the Frog and munched on popcorn while waiting for mom's to come.

Emma

Annie

Chloe

Johanna

and Abby

Thank you so much, everyone, for making this such a special day for her. She's been looking forward to this day for a LONG time. So happy that she loved her day.

{Monday} April 5, 2010

Jake, Josh, & Chloe were dropped off this morning {the boys are staying with Jenn for the week, so Ian dropped them off here and Jenn picked them up this afternoon}. Since we don't have a big enough room in my car to go anywhere we stayed home and played for a while. A little chaotic, but fun.

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for Reha's party tomorrow . . . should be fun and fancy!

{Sunday} April 4, 2010

We had a really quiet Easter Sunday today. The girls woke up and had an Easter egg hunt . . . Charly decided it was a good idea to take what came in Hannah's basket and put it in hers. It was fun to see her have so much fun finding her eggs and busting them all open. She's getting so big so fast . . . a little sad, but she's so much fun. I am so lucky to have such fun and loving girls.

We made Grandma Reha's "munchies" . . . a gooey, yummy hot sandwich. It's a tradition that Wade's family had to make them during conference . . . so we decided to finally start that up. SO good.

1 lb hamburger meat

1 medium onion {chopped}

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 cup grated cheese

1 bag french rolls {6 large or 10 small}

brown hamburger meat with onions. drain off fat. add cream of mushroom soup and cheese. cook until the cheese is melted. fill french rolls, wrap in foil, and stick in the oven for 20 minutes at 350*. 

So easy and so, SO good!!

{Easter's Past . . .}

Charish, me, Ian {Easter 1981}

I can't help but think about how grateful I am for the reason we celebrate Easter. Because of Christ and all he sacrificed for me I will see Charish again. I hate how it seems like forever until that day will come, but I have a lot of comfort knowing for a surety that we will embrace again. I can't wait for that day . . . but until then I will treasure my pictures and memories. She is SO missed . . . I don't go a day without thinking of her and wishing that I could go see her or call her up. Most Easters were spent at her house having Easter egg hunts and eating good food. It's really going to take a lot of getting used to . . . it takes my breath away to think that she's gone and this is permanent for this life. But I'm so thankful for the gospel . . . to know what I know brings so much comfort.

Mom {Easter 1954}

{Saturday} April 3, 2010

Happy 6th Birthday Reha!!!

I really am in total shock that you are SIX YEARS OLD today!! Where oh where has the time gone . . . sniff sniff.

One of our biggest birthday traditions is to have balloons all over the house for when you wake up . . . here you are with your PINK balloons . . . your favorite.

You, my sweet and funny girl, are such an amazing member of our family. I can't imagine how different our lives would be without your funny, sweet, and giving attitude to add such an incredible amount of love into our family. There is so much about you that makes my heart melt on such a regular basis . . . I LOVE YOU!!! Here are some of my favorite pictures of you throughout your six years!! {Minus your sweet baby pictures pre-digital camera era . . . I really need to get them scanned in! When I do, I will share them here!}

This was taken when you were about 2. We used to say to you, "Where's our monkey?" and you would make the cutest little monkey lips ever. This picture definitely didn't capture the cuteness of it. So so so cute!! You LOVED monkey's and were completely fascinated by them. I would take you to the zoo and just wheel you up in your stroller to the window where the monkey's live and you could stare at them for as long as I would let you. I'm thinkin' you might wish you were one? Maybe?

 This was actually the day you learned to walk. You were SO excited!! This is right after you fell down . . . you would fall and giggle, then stand right back up again. What a great memory I have from this day. I remember thinking how great it was that you didn't get discouraged. You have proven that you live your life this way. I love you for that!!

 

This would have gone better in the beginning with your monkey face. Hannah used to love to play all over this area of the zoo . . . you? You would hold onto this guy and stay on until your little muscles would shake. Then you would fall, climb back on and hold on tight. You really are a monkey . . . I'm certain.

 

Just love this picture. This was right after you woke up one morning . . . my little Pippy Longstockings.

 I love this picture because it shows just how curly your hair used to be. So cute, but it's so much easier on both of us now that it's straightened out a bit. Brushing it out isn't quite so painful anymore! Gotta love that.

 You have always been SUCH a daddy's girl. Wherever he is, you are. I love that about you . . . stay close to him. He will forever be your biggest fan!!

 You are SUCH a great big sister!! You have been in LOVE with your baby sister since you found out she was going to be in our family. You instantly loved the idea of being a big sister and you have proven over and over again that you are the kind of big sister that any girl could ever want. I love to watch how helpful you are any time that she is needing some help with something. And you are always the first to jump up when she wants someone to play with, or when she gets hurt. You are a compassionate and loving girl . . . 

 . . . and you DEFINITELY know what it means to have a good time just being silly. You have been making us all laugh since the day you figured out how to be funny . . . which was REALLY early on. I remember people being shocked how young you were when you very clearly were doing something JUST to make people laugh. Charly has definitely followed in your footsteps. We are SO in for it when you two get a little older. You two are a couple of clowns.

 . . . and you are SO talented. haha

 . . . a little sassy . . . okay, maybe a lot . . . !

 Going back to falling and getting right back up . . . you are such a HARD worker. When there is something you want to accomplish, you set out and DO it. You practice over and over and you never get discouraged, rather you keep telling yourself that you CAN do it. I love these next few pictures. It definitely shows how your hard work has paid off in gymnastics. 

This first one is from when you first started. You were infatuated by the older girls and LOVED that they could all do their splits. You came home and practiced . . . for hours sometimes. And you have clearly showed us that one of your many talents lies in this sport. Those older girls better watch OUT!

 And the thing I love MOST about you . . . you are extremely giving!! Probably the best example about this is when you donated your hair. You told me for years that you wanted "Barbie hair." You had this beautiful long hair that people complimented you on ALL the time. When Brynlee {your 2 year old cousin} was diagnosed with cancer and you learned that she lost all of her hair you were so sad for her! I remember telling you one time that some kids who lose their hair get to wear wigs made out of other people's hair that they donate. You instantly wanted to cut your hair to help someone get a wig. I decided not to go through with it right away so you could think about it for a little while, but every day that went by you got more and more passionate about it. 

 So . . . I took you to Cool Cuts and we had them chop it all off. You just smiled through the whole thing, and, while video taping you, I asked you why you cut your hair you said, "To help people like Brynlee." And while you're trying to grow your hair back now, you have never once said you wish you didn't do that. 

I LOVE YOU SOOOO much!! Thank you for the love you bring into my heart! You are so loving . . . and while you're in the midst of a heartbreaking battle trying to cope with the loss of one of your MOST favorite people, Aunt Charish, I know she is SO proud of you for all of the choices you make. She knows that you're struggling and I know, without ONE single doubt, that she is constantly with you . . . I know because when I dreamed about her last she told me. I have a feeling she comes to you too sometimes because there are some mornings when you're extra sad . . . but I KNOW that in our dreams is where she will visit us the most because we're not too stubborn or too busy to listen. She loves you . . . and has always been your biggest fan.

xoxo my sweet girl!!