Unstoppable

{Sunday} April 18, 2010

I'm a sobbing, snotty mess tonight! I have been doing so good . . . of course I've had my ups and downs, but really . . . the flood gates have opened! And it's all because I'm watching the stupid country music awards.

First song that got me was from Toby Keith {can I just tell you how much I can't stand this dudes music}. He wrote a song for a friend who died from cancer . . . the words got me, of course . . . especially the, "I got up and dialed your number, and your voice came on the line with that old familiar message I heard a thousand times. It just said, sorry that I missed you. Leave a message and God bless. I know that you think I'm crazy but I just had to hear your voice I guess. I'm gonna miss that smile, I'm gonna miss you my friend. Even though it hurts the way it ended up, I'd do it all again . . ." Seriously, I called Charish's phone a LOT after she died just to hear her voice . . . and I had a message that she sent me that I would listen to what felt like a hundred times during the night, but accidentally erased it one day . . . cried as hard as the day she died. {Called her phone again tonight and some guy answered . . . guess it's not her number any more . . . sad . . . but duh. But I still can't bring myself to delete her name off of my phone.}

Then Rascal Flatts came on and sang "Unstoppable". I've heard this song on the radio a few times but never really listened to the words, and while all the words don't fit my situation, most of them hit me hard . . . I all of the sudden love this song. And again, cried like a baby in time out. "When the cold hard rain just wont quit, and you can't see your way out of it . . . You find your faith has been lost and shaken, you take back what's been taken. Get on your knees and dig down deep, you can do what you think is impossible. Keep on believing, don't give in. It'll come and make you whole again. It always will, it always does. Love is unstoppable." {so so true} . . .

THEN stinking Carrie Underwood got on the stage and sang "Temporary Home" and of course the last verse got me, "An old man, hospital bed. The room is filled with people he loves. And he whispers, don't cry for me I'll see you all some day. He looks up and says, I can see God's face. This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong. Windows and rooms, that I'm passing through. This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know, this was my temporary home." {sigh}

Man I miss that girl . . . and I think I've cried enough to last me a good few weeks . . . we'll see.