Love

{Saturday} April 17, 2010

I've really been out of it for the past week and a half! I've had a "bad" computer charger, so my laptop hasn't been working . . . I FINALLY have it back, so I'm glad to be back in the swing of things.

We are just a day away from spring break being over. These past three weeks have been . . . interesting . . . but it's been so SO so great to have the girls home. I really love that we could just enjoy each day without having to deal with school & homework. I'm sad that they're going back on Monday. We were able to spend time with my mom & Bruce the past couple of days. It was nice to spend time with my mom and to see that she's doing better. She's been so sick lately that it was starting to really worry me. She's not great, but to see an improvement was really nice. On our way home yesterday we drove the long way home and visited Paul & Becky's family. Wade came and got the girls so Becky & I could go out to dinner. It was really great to spend time with her one on one. I really love that girl . . . SO grateful I have her in my life. I've been really sad that Charish is gone and that I wont have that "sister" time that is so priceless and unique, but it's nice that I still have sister's in-law who love me. What a major blessing they have been.

There are a few things I've been thinking about lately; the biggest thing . . . I have GOT to stop focusing on all of the negative things in my life. Whether the negativity is coming from something going on in MY life or the life of someone I'm close to . . . I HAVE to stop focusing on the crap and how it's somehow negatively affecting me, and start dealing with the good {because in EVERYTHING, no matter how difficult the challenge, there is always something good that can come from it . . . even if it's just the fact that you've learned something to better your life} The past eight months have been a crazy tornado of total crap, most of which I had no control over and has, in it's own way, had a part in tearing me down {Charish dying was the straw that broke this chicks back}, and until I came to the realization that I can't continue to be depressed about how sucky life has been for me . . . I really thought I would feel dark & empty for the rest of my life. I'm so grateful that this positive thinking has changed my life. I'm happier and feel like I'm finding the good in things that I never thought I would see anything but pain in.

In short . . . everything positive in life comes from love . . . and man I'm feelin' it.